Source: Rudders News
After the stock of Potash Corporation continued its meteoric plummet on Wednesday William Doyle, Potash's CEO, was briefly spotted near company headquarters late Wednesday afternoon.
Rifle in hand and helicopter in close proximity, Mr. Doyle appeared flustered and delusional. He was found repeatedly uttering incomprehensible statements under his breathe to himself like "the next five years will see the greatest growth at our company", "we've waited over 20 years for this unique moment in history to arrive ", and "corn would have to fall to $2.00 before we would see demand destruction and we just don't see that happening."
When asked what he was doing with a rifle and a helicopter he admitted that after watching 'Sarah Palin Porno' to make himself feel better about things, followed by watching his stocks go down, followed by watching more Palin Porno, followed by more watching his stocks go down he was slowly becoming convinced that there was more to Sarah Palin than just her 'naughty school teacher' look.
"She's really got some good ideas" Doyle was quoted as saying. "At first I thought that getting into a helicopter and shooting down animals that couldn't defend themselves was just nuts. That was a long time ago... like when POT was trading at 190. I've learned so much since then and now I know how good it feels to pulverize their little defenseless bodies. Sarah was right all along".
When asked how he felt about the imploding hedge funds that were leveraged 30:1 and the hedge funds that were shorting the sh*t out of his stocks he replied that he liked apple sauce and that the hedge fund selling felt a lot like ‘clothespins on his nipples’.
“Gotta go.” Mr. Doyle said, as he climbed into his helicopter. “Ospraie may have bent me over but these little wolves… their asses are mine”.
The "Yellow Rose Street Beat" is for informational purposes only. It does not give investment advice
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